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HELPING
OUR CHILDREN BUILD - 21st CENTURY
Contributed
by Julia Gabriel
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Communication is the process we use
to create or share meaning. We do this in conversation,
through group interaction, by speaking to an audience,
or presentation through auditory or visual media.
The communication process is complex because it includes
the participants; the context (physical, social, historical,
psychological or cultural) in which the communication
takes place; the messages and their many forms; the
sensory channels we use to send and receive verbal signals
and non-verbal cues; any external or internal interference
or noise present; and the feedback received. There is
so much to master!
Communication in our Lives
Communication is at the heart of how we relate to one
another. By nature we are social animals and need other
people just as we need food, water and shelter. Talking
with acquaintances, friends, family or colleagues meets
the need to contact and connect with another person.
Through our communication we enhance and maintain a
sense of self, by learning who we are, what we are good
at and how people react to us: We see ourselves through
others. We communicate to fulfill social obligations
(Hi! How are you? I'm fine thank you) and to develop
relationships. Some may grow and deepen, while a lack
of communication leads others to stagnate and drift
away. Daily, we share countless exchanges that involve
passing of information, and it's doubtful that a day
goes by when we don't try to influence others, through
convincing or persuading them, in communication.
We create the impression that we are competent communicators
through the messages we send and the nonverbal behaviours
that accompany them.
Recipe for Communication Competence
For children to become competent communicators they
need three key ingredients:
" Motivation to communicate and the confidence
to do so. This means unconditional acceptance of their
right to speak and be heard, which creates positive
self-esteem.
" Knowledge of self and awareness of others, and
" Skills, or goal-oriented actions, that they can
master and repeat. The more they have, the more likely
they are to be able to structure messages appropriately:
What are these skills?
1. Clarity of speech, or specific, concrete, precise
words to help the listener picture our thoughts accurately
2. Command of language, and grasp of a range of registers
of formal and informal usage, in thinking, speaking,
listening, reading, writing and viewing
3. Politeness, or the ability to relate to others in
ways that meet their need to be appreciated and protected
4. Empathy, or the ability to identify with the feelings,
thoughts or attitudes of others
5. Paraphrasing to enable us to reflect understanding
of another person's message and discover the speaker's
motivation
6. Perception checking skills to clarify the meaning
of non-verbal behaviour
7. Access to emotions and ability to put an emotional
state into words, to teach others how we would like
to be treated
8. Assertiveness to be able to stand up for ourselves
effectively, by exercising our personal rights, while
respecting those of others
9. Ability to describe the basis of conflict to help
others understand problems fully
10. Brainstorming skills to generate free exchange of
ideas through an uncritical, non- evaluative process
11. Problem-solving skills to arrive at a conclusion
about a fact, value question or policy question
12. Speech writing ability to create the exact response
you want from an audience
13. Skills of research. evaluation, recording and reporting
data
14. Enthusiasm; using voice and physical communication
to show excitement and passion
15. Vocal expressiveness; using contrasts in pitch,
pace, inflection, volume and tone quality to convey
meaning
16. Spontaneity to enliven a repeated or rehearsed speech,
so it is perceived as fresh and lively
17. Eye contact to strengthen interaction
18. Physical control and understanding of the use of
physical energy in communication
19. Cross-cultural awareness and sensitivity
How Do Children Learn?
Research tells us that:
" Children learn actively, by doing, touching,
experimenting, choosing, talking and negotiating (National
Association for the Education of Young Children, 1991).
Relationships with adults determine their social, emotional,
language and cognitive development (Vygotsky 1978).
" Children need collaboration, support, reflection,
instruction, modeling, direction and co-construction
of meaning from the adults around them (Berk and Winsler,
1995). In other words children need adults to "scaffold"
the learning, helping children to work it out for themselves.
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